hook 'em

one of the awesome things about southeast asia is the $5 massage, and ive been taking them pretty regularly without incident. but what kind of massage do you expect to get at ten o'clock at night? well, this place had none of the obvious tell tale signs. No tacky neon, strobes, smoked mirrors, or scantily clads inviting you in. it was staffed by middle aged people wearing very practical, if somewhat dowdy clothes. maybe that they had me pay up-front was a red flag. anyway, the girl who entered my room after I'd changed into the supplied shorts was young and cute and while I can't say she was dressed like a ho, the little black dress she wore seemed a lil sexy for the job. her name was mee and she was 22 or so she claimed. mee could be the equivalent of bambi or emerald or any other obvious stripper type name and i wouldnt get it.

The massage started off as usual, though it seemed like there was more of that karate chopping you do after a bunch of serious bodywork and less substance. she did that thing where your neck is cracked on either side, and with adequate skill not to actually break it. Halfway in, she quits working and climbs on top of me, suggesting some of the ol' boom-boom. Given the dirth of offers, tho purely a business proposition, the come on didnt feel half bad. The pricing is as follows: sex on the massage table, or back at the hotel room, I couldn't quite understand which goes for 400,000 dong (the local currency), or about $25, 300 for oral pleasures, and 200 for your basic hand administered happy ending.

First I said no, which she pretended not to understand, so I tried, "married" pointing to my ring finger. This explanation might have held more weight had the digit actually sported a band of shiny gold. Finally, I tried "girlfriend", which she finally understood, made a crying face and stopped trying. While she quit pushing her wares, getting her to resume the regular massage was another story. She half heartedly rested a hand on my sholder while using the other hand to text a friend. I took the phone from her and put it under the pillow, but she just put her arms around me. While it was less than the massage I bargained for, i decided that an innocent cuddle was acceptable to pay for, even tho this was just a way for her to do as little work as possible. it ended the minute there was a knock on the door, an hour to the min from when she entered my room.

getting away wasnt quite so easy, as she basically baricaded the door, asking for money. I guess you're buying their time, however u choose to use it. I threw a fifty thousand note on the bed and when she went to get it, I let myself out. By far, the least impressive massage I'd received thus far, so she really didn't earn the $3 tip.