Kao-San road

I'm sitting at an Indian restaurant on 51st at, a strip of restaurants and cafes in an area lined with guest houses. Although these areas are pretty handy for getting a ticket reservation anywhere, wifi every second place and every business employs people who know enough English that asking for the bill or where to go potty is not met with blank stares, it does feel a bit like time sq. English newspapers and English breakfast are offered, for all of those finding it difficult to trade in their rice crispies for rice topped with crispy fish.

Feeling the warmth and smiles from locals, even if thy are all just trying to make a buck, and the chill from other travelers. why are we all SO embarrassed to be in each others company? With Lonely planet sales in the millions, and all the perfectly rendered knock offs selling on the streets for just $2, what made u think you'd be the only whitey in this off the beaten track destination? Dunno why there isn't more of that knowing nod, or eyebrow raise or flick of the headlights that says, I drive a vw bug, or I'm in the bald mans club too?

To address the looking right thru u going on, I wanna come up with an opener that surpasses their worst fears of being outed as another travel guide toting westerner. Maybe a Tony Danza styled loudmouth dumb-ass. Make certain to interject expressions like "bada-bing", "that's the ticket", "that's what she said" as well as that double click sound old timers mouth while pointing ur figure pistol style at someone. Refer to people as "big guy" or "hey buddy". Force high fives on unsuspecting passers by.
Wonder if it would be possible to dig up with an uncle sam uniform and maybe one of those George w face masks?